In the Cut Leadership Conversation with Veronica Very
A powerful gathering at the Wonder of Women Gallery in Seattle, Washington.
Veronica is the founder and visionary behind Wonder of Women International, co-creator of the award-winning cultural healing destination WOW Gallery, the Dear Sista, I See You. Healing Art Exhibition, and the WOW Healing Villa South Africa all co-imagined and created and owned with the love of her life, internationally renowned visual artist Hiawatha D. Veronica is a thought-provoking speaker, teacher, and writer, who compels audiences to remember their power and activate their purpose. A beautiful force of love and light, she easily fosters community and invites us to return to our breath and lean into self-care to co-create change in our individual lives, society, and the world.
Veronica Very Davis, I’m so happy you are here with me In the Cut!
I am thrilled to be with you, Sheila.
Sheila: I miss your face and your energy. I’m delighted that you said yes to me because I consider you to be a movement in the Universe that shows up in a lot of different dimensions. How you got from there to here, and the story of how you lead, is a story that people need to hear.
Sheila, a part of one of the most powerful elements of leaderships, I feel, is demonstrated in that “yes”. You’ve said yes to me and reciprocity is, I think, a critical element of leadership. It demonstrates the need for us to give and receive. To lean in and lean out. To inhale and exhale. Like breathing. Right? To show up for those who show up for you and to demonstrate your appreciation for the same. I’m more than excited for the opportunity to be able to experience that reciprocity with you. That exchante, to me, is very vital to leadership.
Sheila: Well, thank you. And vital to friendship and vital to sisterhood which you live every day of your life.
One could submit that how you show up, Vernonica, is in a spirit of love and engagement and energy and vibrancy. In this very complex world we live in, and the experiences we are having in this moment, tell me how you identify? What names do you write on your chest that say this is who I am?
Well, the first name I write on my chest is my name - Veronica. Veronica is my name and I believe that there is power in a name. I identify very deeply, ten toes down, as Veronica Very.
Veronica means very genuine, very true, very real. I own, walk in and embody that. So, sincerity, authenticity, integrity and truth – that’s the meaning of my name. I identify first with my name. Veronica. Veronica Very.
Secondly, and equally important, I identify as an African Black woman. Blackness is very important to me. My mother raised me to believe and understand how very important that is and to understand and appreciate that context is everything. Meaning that if you don’t understand the context of root, or from where something hails, the origin and ancestry, then you cannot properly interpret anything. For me, my origin, my ancestry, my Africanness is significant to my identity. Significant to understanding who I am and to what I bring to the table.
Sheila: So, you’ve known this for a long time. And the richness of our history that gets embedded early gets expressed differently from those who learn it on the way, or who have a moment that causes it to be triggered. You understand yourself from the very beginning. It’s the certainty of who you are today, because it was the genuineness upon which you started. It’s the place that your mother seeded.
Mm hmmm. Thank you.
We will come back to identity throughout this conversation. Let’s talk about what you do. All of the various aspects of the creative engine that is you. How do you describe the work you do and why?
How do I describe it? I’m grateful that we can have a real-talk conversation because it’s complex. I have learned to reframe and redirect embodying and being. It’s a sea change in my heart and life and on my journey. It helps me live better, to be more healthy, happy and whole. It’s changed the way that I show up. It helps inform my decision making. It’s helped to inform my courage and confidence. And help me strategize and plan where to spend my time, energy, talent and resources.
To answer that question, I want to share my co-creation experience of lovemaking with community. Activating and creating sacred space for healing, education, ancestry and liberation that unapologetically centers Blackness. I do that in co-creation with my husband, Hiawatha D, who is a visual artist. For the past nearly 40 years, he has painted Black peoples’ stories in the high place -narratives that show the brilliance of us. The beauty, the genius of us.
We amplify and shine a light on stories that we feel are super important. Narratives that we feel are very important for us as a people to remember to remember. In most cases, as we move around in our beautiful Black bodies in the world, we need to, more than most people, be reminded of those powerful stories. We need to be inspired. We need to be lifted. We need to be reminded of our gifting, our talents and our genius on a regular basis because most of the stories that are told do not necessarily point to that. They are not being amplified.
So, I have the chance to have a co-creation, a beautiful lovemaking experience breathing love, light, liberation and legacy in community as my life work. It is central to how we get to be in the world.
Sheila: I can’t express it enough. We’ve got to learn to inhale and exhale our way back to life. When we find our breath, we find our life. Too much ‘doing’ is taking our very breath away. The question no longer becomes what are you doing, or what do you do? What are you co-creating? Who are you being? How are you breathing?
Yeah. Yes.
“We now have an opportunity to learn and understand to make new choices”
Talk about how you moved into that because you were in a different space and always knew the creator part of you. Talk about that transition.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
I’ll give you a little context. At this age and stage, we get a chance to reflect if we take the time to do it. And in my reflection, I remember beta testing for Windows, I remember pre-computers, microwaves, color TVs, email, fax machines and the various technical apparatus that changed the way in which we live our lives and move around in the world. And I also have thought about and reflected around the fact that essentially that same technology was supposed to multiply the labor, multiply the doing. It was supposed to speed it up, multiply it, and scale it so we could do so much more. Right? Without realizing how much less we had a chance to actually “be” while we were producing and laboring.
An example that I give often when I’m teaching, speaking or sharing is that there was a time when I had the chance to actually work on a project – and prepare very nicely, be thoughtful about a project – and engage my creation energy. Put other eyes on it and give people a chance to weigh in on it and feel proud about it. Sit with it and be with it. And then put it in the mail!
And then have a chance to feel good about and reflect on what I put in the mail. And wait for what I placed in the mail to be sent and rest to be restored from the energy that I put into that project. And be intentional and ready for the next project.
There was time built in – a pace, a rhythm, a flow – that allowed room for me to be. To be present. To be proud. To celebrate and appreciate what I accomplished.
So, we went from that to being required to multi-task and having 25 of those projects at once. And going back to 100 emails with those 25 projects. The scale was real and all of that energy has literally been processed through our bodies. All of that technology has been moving through our bodies, our beautiful precious divine bodies.
For me, having been through that process of remembering to remember – what it feels like to put bread in the oven and allow it to bake. Right? Instead of having a microwave experience. In all of those ways we have sped things up. We have felt that and experienced the repercussions in our bodies.
We’ve learned that this is not sustainable. And the Universe is informing that it truly has not served us very well socially, financially, spiritually, politically and otherwise. We now have an opportunity to learn and understand to make new choices.
I chose to make those changes some time ago. Beginning, in 2014 when I made a business trip to South Africa and started my company with a vision for Wonder of Women. I began to allow that vision to speak to me and teach me. In 2016, I then began to activate those lessons, first for me; and then unapologetically for people who look like me. And, then it continued to bloom for Black couples and now full circle to the place where the vision was conceived—in South Africa. What is this vision? To build a bridge of healing, education, ancestry, and liberation through sacred spaces, storytelling and art between our countries.
This is a good segue into the work you do now. You describe experiences being truncated into moments. You said, wait, I’m going to create something that is about experiences. Your environment at Wonder of Women and the gallery is loaded with experiences. Let’s talk about leading that kind of vision into life.
Thank you. What a lot of people don’t realize is that prior to WOW Gallery, Wonder of Women started in 2016. Very much underground railroad, Hariett Tubman-style community organizing, sister-to-sister, phone call to phone call, invitation to invitation, circle to circle, retreat to retreat and love letter to love letter experiences. They were simplified, intimate experiences that started out with no agenda except storytelling.
My very first retreat was in the private home of Esther, who I didn’t know. She blessed me with her home and allowed me to have the original retreat in her home that sat on a private park on a beautiful property. I invited 12 women from across the country from all different backgrounds. We had a woman in medicine, one in law, one in beauty and fashion – various industries and representations. No makeup. No jewelry. No cell phones. No bullet points. No presentations. No red bottoms. No bios. No titles. All of the things we had been conditioned to believe made us important were not allowed. I just wanted each to come to tell their stories.
I wrote 12 love letters and put Dear Sister on each of the envelopes and placed them randomly in a basket. Before they left, they had to write an anonymous love letter. The intention was that they sit in their chairs and for that weekend without any notes. Sit. Tell their story. And listen.
Before they told their story, I had each play the song that represented the soundtrack of their life. After the song, the women in the room were asked to just listen. Just listen. Don’t add, interrupt or ask questions. Don’t give your version! She talked all she wanted and after she finished, the only question we asked her was, “what do you need from us?”
In every single story told that weekend, we heard our own. Regardless of their title, background or education. Okay!!?? In every story we heard our own.
Each morning, we had a spiritual experience in nature. On Sunday, I brought in makeup artists and a photographer and we celebrated.
After we left that weekend, I put them in workshop with coaches from Africatown’s BlackDot and prepared them to tell their stories live on stage at Town Hall Seattle. They told their stories using the Wonder of Women framework that I created – love, light, liberation. We coached them for the stage and in front of hundreds of people in attendance, who had no idea what they were coming to witness, these women tell their stories. Something broke in the earth from Seattle to South Africa and that was the beginning. It was truly powerful and there wasn’t a dry eye in the building.
There happened to be a childhood friend of min named Kelly Guy in the audience who was a Deputy at the City of Seattle’s Parks & Recreation Department who wanted us to consider crating storytelling experiences and helaing workshps in community centers. We needed space and they had money and space. So, our very first grant came from them and we activated those workshops every quarter and retreats every year. That’s how Wonder of Woman started activating spaces in community.
During Covid, after George Floyd’s murder, on the mountain where I would have my annual retreats, the Director of that community center called to tell me that Black lives matter and how important it was to have our community in attendance at my retreats, and how much they cared about us and how important we were.
And we did and we came back after Covid. We were their first piece of business after Covid. I returned to their office to talk about something that needed to be fixed about the retreats and saw a Trump doll on the desk of the manager.
During all of this time, I had a deep, deep knowing that we needed our own space. I didn’t know when, but I knew then, that we wouldn’t be going back to that space. It gave me a conviction to open WOW Gallery – to share with the whole community – this work of Wonder of Women, and our vision to create sacred space that unapologetically centers us. Where we are safe and seen. And that is how WOW Gallery came about.
Sheila: There are no mistakes. No mistakes.
“In each of the situations and circumstances, I had to find meaning. Instead of allowing them to take me out, I needed them to lift me up!”
You have invited encouraged and invited us to lead in our own lives and you invite us to see ourselves first. To lead in our lives, we must know who we are. Why is that so important?
Because you can’t expect anyone else to see you, if you don’t see yourself. Right? You can’t expect anyone to love you, unless you love yourself. You’ve got to know and understand that we teach people how to treat us. Literally, how you treat yourself is a signal to others as to how you want to be treated.
I set up an office just for the day at Bus Boys & Poets in Washington, DC. There was a young lady who I had never met in person whose office was down the street. I pinged her to share that I was in town and the timing couldn’t have been better. The first thing she said was, “Oh, my god, I gotta go get the perfect outfit just for this meeting.” She related and connected to the energy of my style, my intention and how I show up.
There’s a signal that we send out into the world about how it is that we treat ourselves. That is why the stories we tell, the narratives that we embrace, the stories our children are reading, the images that our people are seeing and the ways that we are being are super important.
Everything starts with you. And we can’t get around that.
Sheila: When what we absorb is that we don’t matter, we are not heard and not seen – to reverse that does require something or someone. So, I want to talk about inspiration.
You are an inspiring soul, because you are intending to really change our minds. That requires something! When was the moment you realized there is some juju in me that could affect something – make something happen. Where was that learning moment for you?
I’ve always been super conscientious that life is a journey because my mother told me it was. I am grateful and it was one of the most important things she ever told me. There are so many things she told me that I lean on. Literally the things she told me have taken me to places and spaces I didn’t dream or imagine.
Because she told me it was a journey, I never put too much stock in a particular moment, space, place or timeframe that I found myself. I knew that I was going somewhere. I knew I was traveling. That was a gift that she gave me. She gave me the gift of knowing that I was traveling. She always told me that I could do whatever I put my mind to. How powerful I was. How special I was.
My auntie also spoke into my life. She spent time with me on the telephone and in other ways, too. If I called her early in the morning, she would take time to speak with me. She would deposit really beautiful things in me – one day, God is going to use you, Veronica. You’re going to be a wonderful person who does great things in the world. And I would listen to her early on. It was those deposits that were placed inside of me early. They were planting into me. Seeds that had no choice but to find a place to grow along the journey.
The other piece is that she told me that if you’re not learning, you’re not living. Then therefore, I chose to find ways to learn in everything I did. It wasn’t just a schoolhouse, it was on my way to school, at the grocery store… I had to find ways to learn because if I wasn’t learning, I wasn’t living. So, in each of the situations and circumstances, I had to find meaning. Instead of allowing them to take me out, I needed them to lift me up! Because they were trying to teach me something. They didn’t just happen. They happened for a reason.
Sheila: I love how you dissected the question and went down the road with me. Because having talked with a number of folx in this leadership series where that moment happens over time and others were chosen. I feel like your story is one of evolution and if I talk with you in 10 years, you’ll have another 10 years of evolution to share with me.
“I’ve always been conscientious that life is a journey because my mother told me it was. She gave me the gift of knowing that I was traveling.”
In all that you do, whether it’s the physical manifestation of the Gallery, the spiritual manifestation of the heart of a woman, the lovemaking with your community, or the co-creating with your partner. What’s the thread of the superpower that is Veronica.
Love.
Sheila: That was easy.
I’m gonna say that love has a twin and love’s twin, I believe, is the truth. You can’t have love without the truth. Without truth you cannot have love. They go together.
When you are ready to do the hardest thing, what’s your go to? What do you look at or read? What do you do? Do you pray or chant? Do you put on something? What’s the cape that enables you?
I’m an early riser. Meditation is my jam. I love being up at 3:30 in the morning for meditation, being still and listening. That gets interweaved with prayer. I love writing, journaling. It is healing and inspiring. It is a medicinal outlet for me. But the listening is important because it gives me the opportunity to be restored. I do a lot of pouring so it’s required for me to be restored during meditation.
Sheila: I don’t think people realize how much it takes to be in community, doing what you do. And I also feel that if you are not certain about who you are that there could be a moment of going beyond where you should for your own self-preservation. When you take your breaks, I know that they are real.
Listen. The other piece is that people would not believe that even when you get there, it takes time to work through the emotional push back that you struggle with that needs to be pushed away. It takes some time to actually get sorted to be in a peaceful state.
My work comes in downloads so it’s not unusual for me to get on a stage and not know what I’m going to say. That’s why it’s so important for me to stay in the circadian rhythm of co-creation with the Divine. That’s Divine communication. So, mediation and journaling fuel me, restores me, heals me, prepares me, and allows me to gather me.
Tell me a talent you wish you had.
I wish I could play the drums, bass or guitar. These instruments hold the rhythm and beat. They set the tone. Provide the energy.
You are in a 5-year chapter of your life. What is this chapter about?
Returning, Returning, Reclaiming, Refining, and Remembering
Returning to my breath. I’m having a spiritual awakening right now as we speak. I’ve entered into a study journey and beautiful partnership with Dr. Ela Manga, BreathWork Africa. I am practicing BreathWork meditation and leaning into the power of my breath to heal, align, and strengthen every area of my life.
Reclaiming my time, energy, flow, pace and peace. I’m reclaiming levity. I’m reclaiming pre-computers, facsimiles and microwaves! Seriously. Real talk. I’m reclaiming a better rhythm and pace for the refinement process.
Refining what I’ve learned. I have been moving in light speed with quite a bit in terms of what I’ve been called to do in this life. I’ve given birth to a lot of babies that needed to be born. I feel now that it’s important to be thoughtful about legacy, to refine what I have given birth to, to be sure that it’s packaged, published and prepared for the next generation. I need to take time to concentrate on me.
Remembering my power to do all of that.
Sheila: I feel like I need to take a deep breath. Yea.
That was wonderful. It felt good.
“I’m gonna say that love has a twin and love’s twin, I believe, is the truth. You can’t have love without the truth. Without truth you cannot have love. They go together.”
What is your life’s purpose?
To do exactly that. Help my people to remember to remember their power.
Sheila: At such a time as this. A time like no other.
It’s a year from now, what are you celebrating?
My new book titled Good Mourning. A collection of poetic inspiration and self-help information for Black people to help us grieve better. To help us travel the journey of grief in a way that is healthy and helps us to be whole again.
Anything that you didn’t share that you’d like to share now?
The work that you’re doing, the criticality of giving back to community, through conversations like this cannot be underestimated. I’m grateful that you’re creating space for us to talk again, listen to one another again, to storytell again. These are conversations that are super important. We have to remember to remember. Being In the Cut, we can do that!
Sheila: You are forever a part of my Seattle origin story. Thank you for joining me In the Cut.