What Happened to You’re Welcome?
There was a time when manners were taught in our homes, reinforced at school, and expected as we roamed the planet. Remember when doors were held open for you? When you’d see people picking up a stray piece of paper on the ground and tossing it into the nearest trash bin? When “thank you” was always followed by “you’re welcome”? Do you remember?
Well, my memory is fast fading with the advent of all manner of other things that follow a simple acknowledgment of gratitude for something that was done for me. Today the most typical response I receive is, “No problem.” This aggravates my very spirit in ways that you may find hard to understand but, please, indulge me.
Imagine that I’m in a restaurant and I order my meal. It arrives at my table delivered by a seemingly delightful and well-trained waitress. I’m hungry. Really hungry which is what led me to the restaurant to begin with, right? I wanted food. Something to stop the growling that was rising through my body from the pit of my stomach. I’m just short of being hangry. I didn’t stop at a shoe store or a gas station or a hair salon for food. I went to a food establishment whose sole reason for being is to provide food and beverages to the hungry and the thirsty. That’s what I’m thinking.
The food arrives and with enthusiasm and in total gratitude, I say, “Thank you!” and my waitress says in response, “No problem!” as if delivering my food to my table as I ordered it, and as is her job, could in any way shape or form be deemed a problem! How is it even possible to think that doing her job could in any way be described as a problem?
And if “no problem” seems mild to you, what about “no worries”. Really? Is there any reason on the planet that either I or my waitress should have to worry about the idea that my food would arrive as I desired? Should I have been worried that she would not bring my food? No worries. For real?
What has happened to the common courtesy of good manners and the acknowledgment of the gift of gratitude for something done in our favor? What has happened to the graciousness of manners? Why is it so hard to say, “You are welcome…?” Oh, my.
Recently, I took a couple of friends out for lunch in celebration of their birthdays. We sat outside on a beautiful sun-drenched Oakland afternoon. We ordered our beverages and when they arrived we thanked our waiter and he quickly replied, “No problem.” I immediately stopped him and asked if at our table that when thanked by us that he reply, “You’re welcome.” Just at our table mind you. He could do whatever he wanted at other tables but if I was paying, and tipping, my preference was for the good manner of saying, “You’re welcome”.
He said, “You know, I think it’s generational,” which made the 3 of us chuckle with the knowingness that he was absolutely correct. Yet, I really needed him to try. He laughed and as he left our table he turned to me and said, “No problemo!” and with that, he lightened the moment and throughout our meal he obliged. In the end, he got a really nice tip with my hope that he carry the idea forward in his service. At the very least it would have differentiated him among his waiter and waitress peers!
A few short years ago, I conducted my business banking at a nationwide big-box bank and whenever I completed my in-person transaction, the teller would ask me, “Have I done all that I can to help you?” Now, I’m not sure about you, but how in the heck would I know if he had done all that he could to help me? Wouldn’t that be his to determine?
This so annoyed me that at first, I attempted to get some clarity about the question which only confounded the tellers. There was no understanding from them about why this question made absolutely no sense. In the end, I simply declared that some marketing professionals somewhere came up with this silly customer experience campaign and all of the tellers were told to ask this question at the end of every transaction. They did as they were told giving no thought to how absurd the question was. If I was paying attention I tried to ward off the question before they even asked!
On one occasion the Branch Manager overheard my frustration and took me aside to help me understand the intent of the question. Patiently I listened and when he finished, I explained my point of view as a customer. He dismissed my point of view in favor of the bank’s new customer experience language. I thanked him and he said, wait for it, “No problem.”